Journal 48, page 59

but I do believe much that he does"-he is fabulously helpful& kind to friendless women. We fear Lady B. is in all this for a purpose-the Delilah to shear the locks of our social purity Samson. But who can tell? Who knows much about anything? Nobody. Who know anything about much? Not I. But God is in us & we are of Him [entry continues in space for 9/22] & He has many worlds.

September 22, 1893

For days I have ground away on my speech. How sick of it I am! Have no pith to put into it-not ill-not in pain but-"worthless" & e'enen a most 54!However at that age I ought to be in full tilt& should have been-except that Mother died. So soon I shall & Isabel& Nan& all the rest-& just peace will be upon us here-& as I strongly feel-uplift to other planets St their work& worth.

September 23, 1893

My endless speech was passed over to our "Temperance Ch............... " [Chockle?] the dear little printer who reminds Isabel of one of Raphael's sistine angels (in caricature of course.) It is a gt relief. I have proposed that we vary the program & have a crusade prayer meeting the first forenoon & a "Free[?]" Parliament 1st eveng. Bess has helped me get sorted with Recommendations," "Personal" &"Progress of Women."Judging by newspapers there never was worse stirring up than in Brazil St in U. States finance &R.R. accidents.

September 24, 1893

Bess went to the parish church with its intoning-bowing-scraping and mummery. She came home saying in her simple hearted way to me "Shouldnt you call that a Hierarchy?" I said it struck me so! She found it "Lodebar[?]" I guess-"a place of no pasture!"

We staid very quiet save for a little turn in the Priory grounds where Isabel St Bessie walked & I rode a hard-bitted tricycle.

Capt Pollen &Clement were here at length. I. gets the least peace of any woman I know. She says she told Osborn that she knew she was a center for the vultures-like every woman who had money, rank, talent or influence-especially money. Pollen says "She is bled at every pore."

September 25, 1893

One of the greyest of England's autumn days-after almost 6 months of sunshine. I have never enjoyed such an amount of celestial weather in a given time. Unlike Mother& like father I am dependent on sunshine for exhileration [FEW's sp.]-the whole tone of my spirit is different under blue skies& golden beams. I